THAT SHIT CRAY.
I'm basically going to cheat massively and say that it's amazing. I can't possibly catch up on all the crazy oxymoron emotions and the fabulousness of freshers week and the beauty of Bristol when you first explore it in the sun, with the orange leaves falling on College Green in front of the Cathedral, and the way it feels like I'm in Hogwarts when I go to my philosophy tutorial, and the lucky star I was born under to give me such great flatmates - in particular a girl who I clicked with on the first day and was peeing with on the second (well there's nothing like a bit of alcohol to seriously bash down some social boundaries) - and gosh all the attractive boys.
I live right in the centre of Bristol on the top floor (the lifts are off. I walk up five flights of stairs. I just tell myself how fit I must be getting) so the views are stunning and we can walk everywhere, which is great when we go out and even better when I wake up twenty minutes before I need to be in a lecture the morning after.
There's ten of us in a Flat 11, and we've merged with the flat opposite us to form one super Flat 11.5. We're also really good friends with Flat 8 and 9 (Flat 10 are missing out) but I'm on friendly acquaintance terms with pretty much everyone (especially as the constant fire alarms due to burnt toast which involve us all standing about in pyjamas - regardless of the time of day - are great bonding exercises) and so I have a really super accommodation set up.
The work is hard but I'm trying not to get toooo anxious about it (so in normal person terms I'm at about the anxiety level of a turkey in November) but I've handed in two essays and although I know they were a pile of actual poo, I did it, and I did it without going actually mental, which is always good.
I know I sound absurd and cringey and I am quite tired but I just feel really lucky. We all get on so well despite being randomly thrown together and being really quite different and having totally opposite music tastes and having entirely clashing styles and liking completely different sports and tv programmes and films. We buy family milk and make everyone tea and have had two Flat 11 Sunday Roasts and we leave funny notes for each other and share clothes and wash up together whilst singing to the radio and study in the sitting room together and chill in each others rooms and wave to each others grandparents on Skype and sing happy birthday to my sister down the phone and go on cold Sunday Afternoon walks and put cling film on each others stuff because we think its funny.
And again, I know I sound absurd and cringey but I feel different. I feel more adult and confident and more relaxed about things - myself, mainly. So yeah... I just feel pretty good. Obvs some days I'm hit by my chronic indecision and anxiety and I nearly cry because I can't decide what I want to eat for breakfast and I hate having to shop for myself and hovering is soooo much more effort than I knew and washing my clothes is so time consuming and sometimes work is quite hard, or long, or stress inducing, and sometimes I'm like errrgh 'all I want is a bath and some of mama Williams cooking and a snuggle with Muffin' (my beauts Border Terrier) but most days, I feel excited and happy and looked after by everyone and calm. I feel like I'm saying yes to life, and that its saying yes back.
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